


Let Billionaires Wear Green Crocs

by trespassersw



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies)
Genre: Bisexual Peter Parker, Chaos, Flash Thompson Being A Jerk, Fluff and Humor, Gay Harley Keener, Humor, M/M, Michelle Jones is a Little Shit, Ned Leeds is a Good Bro, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is a Mess, Tony Stark Needs Sleep, Twitter Fic, like it's one sentence and then never again, very very very minor homophobia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-02-25 04:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 8,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22010107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trespassersw/pseuds/trespassersw
Summary: neddy @ned_leedsturns out hacking people’s accounts is really easy when their password is SPIDEY123neddy @ned_leedson an unrelated note flash’s account is now mysteriously gone?? so weirdAKA twitter fic with spidey + avengers!!
Relationships: Harley Keener/Peter Parker, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Pepper Potts/Tony Stark
Comments: 76
Kudos: 915





	1. the beginning of the chaos

**Author's Note:**

> hellooo and welcome I have a lot of plans for this fic so stay tuned!!! for now enjoy this short first chapter!!!!! I'll probably be adding some tags as it goes on and I get more ideas!!
> 
> edit 1/18/21 : i promise this fic gets better!!! i started it about a year ago and the beginning is a little bad since this was my first fic ever, but personally i think the more recent chapters are good! hope you'll stick around ;)

friendlyspider @spinsterman  
y’all ever just get twitter because you were specifically told not to?

> you know me @TStark  
kid Pepper is gonna kill you

>> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
sorry mr.stark I just wanted a twitter!!

animeisanimportantpartofourculture @lydia52  
Wait so is @spinsterman like??? The REAL Spiderman????

> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
In the flesh! Well I guess technically in the screen

>> animeisanimportantpartofourculture @lydia52  
OMG I LOVE YOU SO MUCH

>>> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
wait really?

>>>> animeisanimportantpartofourculture @lydia52  
yes you are my idol!!!

>>>>> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
brb gonna go cry for a hot sec

>>>>> you know me @TStark  
Update: I just found him clutching his phone crying at the counter holding a poptart

>>>>>> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
I LOVE YOU ALL TOO AND I’M FINE NOW HOW DARE YOU EXPOSE ME MR.STARK

>>>>>>> animeisanimportantpartofourculture @lydia52  
spiderman is a whole softie!! Also we love our crying spider

>> falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
OMGOMGOMGOMG spiderman got twitter I can now die happy!!

>>> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
please don’t die for me :(

>>>> SPIDEYREPLIEDTOME @eliahammerstein55  
yes of course spiderman

thor is hot @child_of_oden  
ok I agree that spiderman having twitter is crazy but is nobody gonna talk about how much dad energy Tony Stark is emanating right now??


	2. yeeter peter skeets into screen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> introduction to more characters!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back with a quick update!! Please tell me if this gets confusing to read so that I can fix it! Also thank you for all the support!!!
> 
> To clarify ages:  
> Peter: 16 (soon to be 17)  
> Ned: 17  
> MJ: 16  
> Flash: 16  
> Harley (will show up later): 17

animeisanimportantpartofourculture @lydia52  
wait so if you don’t mind me asking how old are you @spinsterman

> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
I’m not gonna tell you directly because of identity reason and shtuff but I am somewhere in between 15-20 so you guys can have fun figuring it out ;)

>> falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
wait so let me get this straight 

>>> gale_sings @gale1238  
babe you can’t get anything straight ohhhh up top

>>>> falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
I love you but shut up

>> falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
spiderman is most likely a minor??

>>>falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
that’s whack!!!!

barry allen @flashymans  
OMG @spinsterman I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND YOU ARE AROUND MY AGE

> fear me @queenMJ  
shut up flash

>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
MJ?? I didn’t know you had twitter!!

>>> fear me @queenMJ  
well you also didn’t know you were bi for several years so no surprise there

>>>> neddy @ned_leeds  
lmao get rect

>>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
I did not come here to listen to this slander

>>>>>> neddy @ned_leeds  
wait why is your user I <3 cap??

>>>>>>>Captain Crunch @SteveRodgers  
He lost a bet

>>>>>>>> neddy @ned_leeds  
OMG THE CAPTAIN AMERICA REPLIED TO MY TWEET AHAKBDUKABGDIUASBD

>>>>>>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
ned calm down you have literally met him before

>>>>>>>>>> neddy @ned_leeds  
but still!!! SO! COOL!

falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
wait a second I have so many questions??

> falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
who are @yeeterpeter and @ned_leeds why did steve rodgers reply to them and what was the bet that @yeeterpeter lost??


	3. i'm peter and my life is pretty crazy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter is exposed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> another update! I have a lot of ideas so stay tuned because I'm finally done with setting up the intro so hopefully this will get funnier!

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
@SteveRodgers that moment when you wake up to thousands of followers *glares angrily*

> you know me @TStark  
kid stop bullying steve I thought u gen z liked followers??

>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
mr.stark with permission from @PepperPotts I would like to personally ask you to be quiet!

>>> Pepper @PepperPotts  
Permission granted

>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
Thank you Mrs. Potts! Mr. Stark I officially ask that you be quiet!

>>>>> fear me @queenMJ  
wow stark you got the pure one to say shut up very nicely

>>>>> stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
The grammer change and overall tone change when talking directly to pepper vs anyone else is honeslty a whole mood

>>>>>> gale_sings @gale1238  
we respect and bow down to our queen pepper in this household

@yeeterpeter>>>>>@TStark

@yeeterpeter : mr.stark I don’t want followers because I’m worried these people will find out my identity! what if I tweet from the wrong account or say something revealing!! everyone will know who I am!

@TStark : don’t worry kid you’ll be fine a little fame never hurt anyone. Just tell them a little rundown of who you are and how you know me and it’ll be fine.

@yeeterpeter : ok mr.stark I will thanks!

@TStark : for the thousandth time call me tony

@yeeterpeter : no can do mr.stark!

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
ok whew helloo everyone! I am mr.stark’s personal intern so that’s how I know him for all of you wondering! my name’s peter parker and I’m 16! 

> stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
hey dude! That’s so cool but don’t you have to be like in college to be an intern at SI

>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
usually yes but I am a special child

>>> you know me @TStark  
What he means is that I recognized his genius and decided that I needed him to be my intern

>>>> stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
that’s so cool!!

>>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
hi i’m peter and my life, is pretty crazy


	4. the croc epidemic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> somebody get peter some milk
> 
> introducing harley!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i am very proud that this is the first chapter I will be posting of the decade because it's honestly my favorite so far
> 
> tell me if there's anything you want added or edited because I'm just a small lesbian trying her best!!

friendlyspider @spinsterman  
y’all ever just walk in on mr.stark wearing crocs

> stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
are we going to get an explanation or-

>> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
one sec I’ll make another chain

friendlyspider @spinsterman  
he said he wanted to go to the pool so I said sure and when I came back to see if he was ready he was wearing them

> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
I asked why and he said, and I quote, “aren’t they the same as flipflops?”

>> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
I would die for him but seriously get your act together

>>> you know me @TStark  
Kid, I truly don’t see what the problem is

>>>> falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
ok this interaction whack but what color crocs this is important

>>>>> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
are you in the right headspace to receive information that could possibly hurt you?

>>>>>> I love spinster @ironfam4life  
Stop stalling I need this information in my life!!

>>>>>>> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
*wheezes intensly* they were *wheeze* lime *wheeze* green

>>>>>>>> I love spinster @ironfam4life  
oh god I need a minute

>>>>>>>> falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
I- don’t know what to do with this information

>>>>>>>> I love spinster @ironfam4life  
isn’t it mid winter??? why?? does he want to go to the pool??

>>>>>>>>> falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
Why?? Does Tony The Genius Former Playboy Stark own lime green crocs unironically and how did we not know this before??

>>> friendlyspider @spinsterman  
I will never be the same again

>>>> you know me @TStark  
I saw online that some kids were talking about them and they looked comfortable ok

>>>>> the keenster @h_keener  
#letbillionairesweargreencrocs

>>>>>> you know me @TStark  
See Harley gets it that’s why he’s my favorite

>>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
I stan a stupid idiot tincan

animeisanimportantpartofourculture @lydia52  
rt

friendlyspider @spinsterman  
rt

falsettos is my life @eliahammerstein55  
rt

gale_sings @gale1238  
rt

I love spinster @ironfam4life  
rt

stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
rt

thor is hot @child_of_oden  
rt

crazy cat lady @cindyrelli  
rt

so hunny @sallysberrysteak  
rt

neddy @ned_leeds  
rt

Pepper @PepperPotts  
rt

The Best AI @FRIDAY  
rt

I am ze bird brain @Hawkeye  
rt

bow before me @BlackWidow  
rt

that hulk guy@BruceBanner  
rt

THOR @THOR  
rt

BBGUN @BuckyBarnanimal  
rt

the keenster @h_keener  
rt

Captain Crunch @SteveRodgers  
rt

if she breathes she’s a thot @shuri  
rt

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
hold up who’s @h_keener ?? I thought I was the favorite @TStark??


	5. the reckoning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a yes here it is, let the destruction begin

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is so short and late!!! I just had midterms so now that those are out of the way I will be able to post more frequently!! feel free to tell me what you want from this fic or something that I could improve upon! ALSO I created a peter/harley ship playlist so go here if you wanna check it out! https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1VfRsYkbV12c37si6mqnjn

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
hold up who’s @h_keener ?? I thought I was the favorite @TStark??

@yeeterpeter >>>>>>> @h_keener

@yeeterpeter: uh hi um i’m peter

@yeeterpeter: mr.stark told me that you know him because he “graciously fell into your life and blessed you while you annoyed the crap out of him”

@yeeterpeter: yea so basically um hi? I work as an intern for mr.stark and he kinda said that it would be a horrible reckoning if we knew each other and so obviously i acted on that by sending this to you so uh please don’t think i’m weird!

@h_keener: wow he really likes to gloat. what really happened is he broke into my garage and I graciously helped HIM by showing him around and stuff and helped him through some things

@h_keener: anyway i’m harley it’s great to meet you darlin’

@h_keener: i hope that we can become the reckoning that lives up to Tony’s standards

@yeeterpeter: um dude we are going to ruin his life

@yeeterpeter: would you say that you are good at making explosions…… asking for a friend

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
update me and @h_keener have made plans to rule the world

> you know me @TStark  
I have feared this day would come and that humanity itself would implode, but now that their equal powers of torture are going to combine I now have a reason to yeet myself into the sun

>> stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
I’m sorry??? did you just use the phrase “yeet myself into the sun”

>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
I thought that teaching him meme culture would be a good idea after the croc epidemic but it turns out I was very wrong

>>>> the keenster @h_keener  
no darlin’ I am so glad you did this is the funniest thing I have ever seen y’all

>>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
please continue to unironically use y’all I am really enjoying it

stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
ok I get that he is a menace but who is @h_keener

> the keenster @h_keener  
Tony Stark broke into my garage and then I shot him with a potato gun and now every so often he will call me

>> the keenster @h_keener  
so the answer is that I am a beautiful genius that happens to know an older, uglier, genius

>>> stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
seems legit


	6. so much barbie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I <3 barbie movies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was mostly just random little things i wanted to put in but enjoy!!

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
not to be big bi on main but I could fall asleep to the sound of captain america’s voice like honestly it’s so smooth

> BBGUN @BuckyBarnanimal  
Can confirm

> the keenster @h_keener  
not to big gay agree with you but I agree with you

>> the keenster @h_keener  
and i’m big gay

> fear me @queenMJ  
you know that he can see this right?

>> Captain Crunch @SteveRodgers  
no no let him continue

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
hey @queenMJ why did i just walk into your room to find a bloodied towel? I just wanted to give you back your shampoo

> fear me @queenMJ  
It’s the blood of my enemies

>> fear me @queenMJ  
jk lol it’s red paint

>>> thor is hot @child_of_oden  
1st of all queen  
2nd of all MJ has a room at stark tower???

>>>> The Best AI @FRIDAY  
All of the kids have rooms that they are welcome to stay in whenever they so please.

>>>>> thor is hot @child_of_oden  
damn cue https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSrluRZq9kk

the keenster @h_keener  
did you guys know that me and @TStark are actually connected?

> you know me @TStark  
No actually we aren’t

>> the keenster @h_keener  
stop denying yourself the fact that we are connected you know it’s true

>>> you know me @TStark  
You just want me to sing Connected from Barbie and the Diamond Castle with you

>>>> the keenster @h_keener  
and what about it?

>>>>> the keenster @h_keener  
can’t a man peacefully sing a barbie song that demonstrates his relationship with a billionaire perfectly at least once?

>>>>>> the keenster @h_keener  
why are you depriving me of the sweet sweet harmonies that we would make this is homophobia in its truest form

>>>>>>> you know me @TStark  
Fine but only once and afterwords you have do something of my choosing that is embarrassing for you

>>>>>>>> the keenster @h_keener  
YES MY DREAMS ARE COMING TRUE!!!! when can I visit so we can do this for real

>>>>>>>>> you know me @TStark  
Honestly just come whenever I don’t care


	7. big gay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lonely harley :(

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> long chapter! i don't know if this is good lmao but i wanted to do a pic exchage!

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
it isn’t a normal saturday unless @ned_leeds is chasing you with a watergun

> fear me @queenMJ  
nerds

>> neddy @ned_leeds  
you were literally with us shooting waterguns??

the keenster @h_keener  
I am but only a lonely sickle cell anemia

@yeeterpeter >>>>> @h_keener

@yeeterpeter : you good?

@h_keener : I’m fine it’s just

@h_keener : y’all live together in New York and I’m down here in buttfuck Tennessee

@h_keener : I wish I could be there with everyone

@h_keener : I know that Tony would let me stay at the tower whenever but like

@h_keener : It’s not the same when you don’t live there

@yeeterpeter : that’s sucky

@yeeterpeter : you know, Mr. Stark would definitely let you move into the tower

@yeeterpeter : of course your mom would have to agree

@yeeterpeter : unless you don’t want to

@yeeterpeter : actually that was a stupid idea you probably don’t even want to do that

@yeeterpeter : just pretend I didn’t say anything sorry

@h_keener : no! peter that’s a great idea!

@h_keener : I don’t have many friends in my area anyway

@h_keener : the only thing is that I don’t know if I could leave abby and my ma

@h_keener : i’ll ask mr.stark if it would even be a possibility but even if he says yes I have to think about it for a little while

@yeeterpeter : yeah that would be so cool !!

@h_keener : i’ll ask Tony right now!

@h_keener : thanks darlin’ ;)

@yeeterpeter : ajahfudbsjflsgfhj

@h_keener >>>>> @TStark

@h_keener : sup old man

@h_keener : peter had an idea that I could like move into the tower

@h_keener : i don’t know if i wanna go through with it yet cause of my ma and abby you know

@h_keener : but like if I wanted to could I do that? you could see my beautiful face every dayyy

@TStark : Not that I don’t want you here kid but your mom might kill me if I let you

@TStark : I’m gonna have to talk to her about this

@TStark : But if she goes for it of course you can stay here

@TStark : As long as you aren’t a huge pain in my ass

@h_keener : lmao that’s a joke right

@h_keener : you know what you got yourself into when you broke into my garage

@TStark : I truly had no idea and now I regret everything

@h_keener : you know you love me

@h_keener : anyway thanks!

@yeeterpeter >>>>> @h_keener

@h_keener : he said yes!

@yeeterpeter : awsome!!

@h_keener : give me a couple weeks and you’ll have your answer darlin’

@yeeterpeter : of course!

@yeeterpeter : and even if you don’t move in you should still visit!

@h_keener : uh duh I wouldn’t pass up a chance to see your pretty face

@yeeterpeter : iodifidshauhfusidfg

@h_keener : which reminds me I’ve never seen your face !

@yeeterpeter : i mean i don’t think you’d really want to

@yeeterpeter : and I haven’t seen your face either

@h_keener : true true but I very much would like to see if you look like what i’m thinking

@yeeterpeter : well you’re probably gonna be disappointed

@h_keener : i sincerely doubt that that is possible

the keenster @h_keener  
everyone!! peter won’t let me see his face and is now self deprecating force him to let me see

> neddy @ned_leeds  
peter stop being stupid and send him selfies

> fear me @queenMJ  
harley you’re not ready for such beauty

>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
:(

>>> fear me @queenMJ  
don’t get pouty on me parker you’re hot and you know it

>>>> barry allen @flashymans  
how would you know aren’t you gay? and he isn’t even hot

>>>>> fear me @queenMJ  
lesbians know everything and you are wrong he is beautiful

> you know me @TStark  
Just ask him very nicely and he’ll probably give in

@h_keener >>>>> @yeeterpeter

@h_keener : may I pretty please see a picture of your face

@yeeterpeter : no

@h_keener : please

@yeeterpeter : no

@h_keener : please

@yeeterpeter : no

@h_keener : please

@yeeterpeter : no

@h_keener : please

@yeeterpeter : no

@h_keener : pretty pretty pretty please!!!!

@yeeterpeter : ARGH FINE!

@yeeterpeter : but only if you send me pics of you back

@h_keener : all you had to do was ask sugarcube ;)

@yeeterpeter : ajkfdhsifhiakdnn

@yeeterpeter : ok here

[picture of peter with ned and mj at the tower]

[selfie of peter smiling with a flower in his ear]

[picture of peter and tony working on something in the lab that was probably taken by friday]

[picture of peter laughing with his team at aca dec practice]

[picture of peter and may]

[selfie of peter smiling with a cute filter]

@yeeterpeter : don’t judge i know they’re bad

@h_keener : mkafkeshfuidsh

@h_keener : I

@h_keener : I gay

@h_keener : holy

@h_keener : jsAFHesdhfo

@yeeterpeter : are you?? ok??

the keenster @h_keener  
soifahousdhfudishfjbjkbgayisaodjisahkjjh

> fear me @queenMJ  
@ned_leeds you owe me 20 bucks

> Pepper @PepperPotts  
@TStark you owe me 20 bucks

> bow before me @BlackWidow  
@Hawkeye you owe me 20 bucks

@yeeterpeter >>>>> @h_keener

@yeeterpeter : still waiting for my pics

@h_keener : comin right up darlin’

[selfie of harley smiling]

[picture of harley with abby]

[picture of harley on a motorcycle]

[selfie of harley smirking and winking]

[selfie of harley and his mom]

[selfie of harley smiling widely]

@yeeterpeter : aklfnlksaehfiaesh

@yeeterpeter : uegfuisbfkjsbd

@yeeterpeter : hoiwejrilknskfhdshdifhjoisajilfheukhkusajbdfhbskjfb

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
Iesfsiafbigbihkasudhfnkjshdfdhnfjdb

> neddy @ned_leeds  
@queenMJ you owe me 20 bucks

> you know me @TStark  
@PepperPotts you owe me 20 bucks

> I am ze bird brain @Hawkeye  
@BlackWidow you owe me 20 bucks


	8. pride!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically this fic is gonna ignore quarantine but not everything else going on right now so just pretend that covid doesn't exist! also i hope everyone is safe and if you are going to protests you are staying safe!!!! #pride2020 #blacklivesmatter
> 
> ps : i am white so please tell me if there is anything in this that is incorrect or harmful!!

friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
hey everyone! I just wanted to come on here and let everyone know that I hope you are all staying safe with everything going on right now! 

> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
also!!!! happy pride month!! we as the lgbt community must stand by our black siblings!

>> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
catch the avengers at the pride parade and supporting in the protests!

you know me @TStark  
rt

Pepper @PepperPotts  
rt

tony stank is an idiot @Rhodes  
rt

The Best AI @FRIDAY  
rt

I am ze bird brain @Hawkeye  
rt

bow before me @BlackWidow  
rt

that hulk guy@BruceBanner  
rt

THOR @THOR  
rt

BBGUN @BuckyBarnanimal  
rt

I’m trying @scarletwitchy  
rt  
Captain Crunch @SteveRodgers  
rt

stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
AHHHHH!!!!! the avengers support the black and LGBT community!! this means so much!!

Conspirator @daily_conspiracies  
Is Spider-man gay? Read our analysis of his tweets here!

> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
is this?? new information??? I thought I was out already???

>> gale_sings @gale1238  
WAIT!! you are gay?? that is amazing!!

>>> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
well i’m actually bi but yeah i thought everyone knew

>>>> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
A lot of the avengers are gay actually, do people not know this?

>>>>> barry allen @flashymans  
really? I thought we were supposed to look up to you guys?

neddy @ned_leeds  
turns out hacking people’s accounts is really easy when their password is SPIDEY123

> neddy @ned_leeds  
on an unrelated note flash’s account is now mysteriously gone?? so weird

>> you know me @TStark  
Ted you are definitely being offered a job here whenever you want

>>> neddy @ned_leeds  
FBIYEGFILVUBDSBKSJDBKSLDBUKDGSKUDGSUKLDGSUKDGSKU

>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
@TStark you can’t break my best friend during pride :( who else will take me to the best stands!

hottest news @TheBugle

[image of spiderman wearing a ‘i swing both ways t-shirt’]

[image of natasha and wanda hugging lesbians in the crowd that are wearing shirts with their faces on them]

[image of iron man flying above the parade]

[image of cap and bucky holding hands at the front of the march with their fists in the air]

[image of pepper and rhodey buying ‘i love my gay children’ pins]

[image of peter crying and hugging pepper and rhodey when they show him said pins]

[image of thor, bruce, and clint throwing peace signs]

[image of all the avengers together with their respective pride makeup and attire]

friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
today was so amazing!!! thank you to everyone who came up and said hello!! you are all amazing!

friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
if you are unable to donate or attend the protests there are still ways to help! Spread the message! text FLOYD to 55156, sign petitions, and provide support to anyone who needs it! we are all HUMAN!  
https://act.colorofchange.org/sign/justiceforfloyd_george_floyd_minneapolis  
https://www.change.org/p/mayor-jacob-frey-justice-for-george-floyd?recruiter=1096617288&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=psf_combo_share_initial&utm_term=psf_combo_share_abi&recruited_by_id=2943f820-a174-11ea-b563-a538d17ee3bd

fear me @queenMJ  
rt

if she breathes she’s a thot @shuri  
rt

the keenster @h_keener  
rt


	9. peter radar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! this is less of the funny side and more of the obligatory 'move along the small plot i have going' type chapter
> 
> just a reminder to keep supporting the black lives matter movement!! and PLEASE pay attention to facts and not random things on the internet, keep signing petitions, and doing good! <3

fear me @queenMJ  
stop @yeeterpeter

> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
what did I do!!!

>> fear me @queenMJ  
I don’t know but i know it’s something

>> fear me @queenMJ  
I can feel it

>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
aren’t you in the Bahamas for vacation??? how would you even know??

>>>> fear me @queenMJ  
my 'peter is being an idiot' radar is never wrong not matter how far i am from you

>>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
well i haven’t done anything so ha! it’s wrong this time!

>>>>> fear me @queenMJ  
bet. just wait

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
there is a slight chance i will be needing a mop

> the keenster @h_keener  
what?? for??

>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
well it just so happens that maybe MJ’s peter radar is scarily accurate

>>> fear me @queenMJ  
lmao never underestimate me

> you know me @TStark  
Pete, please tell me you didn’t

you know me @TStark  
[picture of a grumpy peter covered in batter, cleaning the floor and walls which are equally as covered in batter]

Why don’t children learn lessons? 

> tony stank is an idiot @Rhodes  
Like you’re one to talk Mr.hm i wonder what would happen if i put pees in the toaster

>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
lmao, pees

>>> you know me @TStark  
Kid get back to cleaning or i swear we will never watch tangled on movie night again

>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
sjeebaerkuaeukauerkuaehfueabkjdbxavj no please

@h_keener >>>>> @yeeterpeter

@h_keener : soooooooooooo

@h_keener : i have some good newsssss

@yeeterpeter : eeeeee tell me tell me tell me tell me tell meeeeeee

@h_keener : my ma has agreed to let me come stay at the tower!

@h_keener : i’m gonna be going home at least once a month

@h_keener : but tony said that he has an idea for a school that i can go to once the year starts back up again!!

@yeeterpeter : oh my gosh oh my gosh oh my GOSH

@yeeterpeter : that’s amazing!!!

@yeeterpeter : what school is it?!?!?

@h_keener : he said it was called midtown or somethin?

@yeeterpeter : HARLEY

@yeeterpeter : HARLEY THATS MY SCHOOL

@yeeterpeter : WE’RE GONNA GO TO SCHOOL TOGETHER

@yeeterpeter : OH MY GOSH

@h_keener : OH MY GOSH

@h_keener : this just got 10x better

@h_keener : you’re like the coolest person ever and now i get to go to school with you

@h_keener : holy shit how much on a scale of 1-10 should i be worried about MJ

@yeeterpeter : probably 0 she seems to like you online so why wouldn’t she in person?

@h_keener : gosh i hope so darlin’

@yeeterpeter : when are you coming?

@h_keener : august 10th

@h_keener : so about a month or so

@yeeterpeter : DUDE

@yeeterpeter : that’s my birthday

@yeeterpeter : you’re gonna be like the best birthday present ever

@h_keener : dude

@h_keener : this is amazing

@h_keener : on a completely unrelated note i am gonna discreetly exit this conversation

the keenster @h_keener  
what’s a good birthday present for someone you’ve only met online but will meet on their birthday and you wanna make a good impression but don’t wanna seem creepy??

> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
you know I can read this right

> fear me @queenMJ  
he likes stuffed animals

>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
hey! you said you would keep that a secret

>>> fear me @queenMJ  
oops


	10. birthday !!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> happy birthday peter !!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i think i'm gonna update soon because i'm almost finished with the next chapter where harley and peter will be meeting (out of text)

I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
IT’S DONE I’M FINALLY DONE

> Captain Crunch @SteveRodgers  
Ugh, whatever

>> stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
what have you finished that could make cap so sassy???

>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
THE BET IS OVER

>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
I CAN CHANGE MY USERNAME

>>>>> I <3 cap @yeeterpeter  
i have a great one

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
now I’M the dancing queen fools

> the keenster @h_keener  
it’s a good fit you are indeed young, sweet, and newly 17

>> the keenster @h_keener  
OooOoOo i should change mine

new in town @h_keener  
it’s the perfect blend of john mulaney and accuracy since i’m actually gonna be in NY soon

> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
it’s PERFECT

>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
you may not be homeless or have aids, but you are indeed gay and will be new in town

you know me @TStark  
Happy 17th Birthday to my #1 intern

> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
awwwww mr.stark being a softie!!!

>> fear me @queenMJ  
ur literally his only intern

>>> you know me @TStark  
Which makes him the best

@yeeterpeter >>>>> @h_keener

@yeeterpeter : sooooooooooo

@yeeterpeter : what time are you supposed to land?

@h_keener : wellllllllllllllllllllll

@h_keener : we’re about to take off so about 2 hours i guess

@yeeterpeter : asifha;sfhadhflasdhfil;dshflsdhfl

@yeeterpeter : what am i supposed to do with myself for 2 hours :((((

@h_keener : sit and let the suspense fester inside of you

@yeeterpeter : that does not sound preferable

@yeeterpeter : instead i am going to seat in the kitchen eating twizzlers nonstop 

@h_keener : TWIZZLERS???????

@h_keener : i’m so sorry i have to tell the plane to turn back

@h_keener : i can’t be in the presence of a twizzler eating MENACE

@yeeterpeter : what are you a lame red vines kinda guy

@h_keener : NO

@h_keener : I’M A SANE PERSON THAT DOESN’T EAT CANDY THAT TASTES LIKE RUBBER

@yeeterpeter : whatever major loser

@h_keener : oh no you don’t camp rock me I camp rock YOU

@h_keener : whatever major loser


	11. karaoke night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> new chappie :)) this ones a mix of real life and tweet because i wanted to have harley and peter interacting!! i think a lot of the other chapters will be twitter but also some real life sprinkled in

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
i’m going stir crazy

> BBGUN @BuckyBarnanimal  
can confirm, he’s been walking in circles for like an hour now

>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
jeez no need to expose me

>>> new in town @h_keener  
darlin’ if you really need something to do why don’t you set up the karaoke machine so tony and i can finally have our long awaited duet

>>>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
WUHOUFWKHDKUADHKDHKDHKUDHUDSHKSBJDBSKJBDS

>>>>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
YOUHD TOLDNKJ ME THAT YOUD COUDLNSY TEXYT ANYMORE CAHUSE GTHE PLANE DIDNHT HAVE WIFI?!!??!

>>>>>> new in town @h_keener  
bruh it’s a stark jet why would it not have wifi

>>>>>>> new in town @h_keener  
not my fault that you told me your trash opinion and i couldn’t deal with it

>>>>>>>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
GNOMEO AND JULIET IS BETTER THAN HOODWINKED GET OVER YOURSELF

>>>>>>>>> new in town @h_keener  
your wrong and you know it

Peter groaned and tossed his phone on the couch as he flopped face first into the cushions. He could smell Bucky and Steve cooking mac and cheese together in the kitchen and couldn’t bear the delicious smell anymore. His stomach rumbled at the thought of food but he knew he couldn’t eat anything yet because they were making it especially for his birthday. He couldn’t spoil his dinner while his uncle’s were making his favorite for him.

With his spidey-hearing, he picked up footsteps coming near him. Flipping over and sprawling his arms and legs across the couch, he could see Aunt May coming closer holding a glass of wine.

“Hey Pete,” she greeted as she sat down in the chair next to him. “How’s the birthday boy so far today?” 

May and Peter decided that since Harley was coming and the rest of the avengers were at the tower, they should spend the day there. MJ and Ned were coming over for the birthday party too, but not until after Harley arrived.

“The birthday boy is having a great time May, thanks for letting me come to the tower!”

“Could you imagine the nagging Tony would give me if I said no? That man is very persistent.”

“Could you imagine my nagging if you said no?”

“You’re right, you’d be worse,” May said as she laughed. “I’m gonna see if they need help in the kitchen, I don’t know how they could burn mac and cheese but I think they did it.”

She patted Peter’s knee and waved as Peter laughed and said goodbye to her. Jumping off the couch, he went to set up the karaoke machine.

new in town @h_keener  
Action news: this just in the first person to actually die from borden has just died

> neddy @ned_leeds  
*gasp* did he die?

“Kid you look fine stop doing stuff to your hair,” Harley heard from the bathroom.

Happy had told Harley they would be landing soon so he went in to make sure he looked at least somewhat presentable. After ruffling his hand through his hair one last time--he figured Stark would mess it up anyway--he opened the door and stomped up to the seat where Happy was sitting.

“Happyyyyyy! Why do jets take forever.”

“Kid, shut your ungrateful ass up. I just flew to Tennessee for you.”

“But I’m booooooreeeed.”

“Go be bored away from me.”

Harley groaned a load and prolonged groan that lasted until he had buckled his seatbelt in his chair for landing. 

“Thank you Happy, I love you!” He yelled over the many chairs in between them. He heard a scoff in response and some mumbling which Harley took as a win.

new in town @h_keener  
i don’t think new york is prepared for the sheer force of power that is me

> new in town @h_keener  
i’m boutta step of this plane and theres gonna be an earthquake y’all i swear

It wasn’t an Earthquake Peter heard, but the sheer force of pounding feet on the floor could’ve fooled him. Looking up from his phone he saw an unhappy Happy trailing slowly behind a very energetic blonde boy. 

“Guess who’s here y’all!”

All of the Avengers that were in the area (Bucky, Steve, Clint and Nat) yelled out a variety of greetings ranging from a simple nod to--in Steve’s case--a hard slap on the back. 

“Hey Steve, I missed you but definitely not your strength. I will never walk again.”

“Bitch, you're literally standing,” Peter spoke up for the first time since Harley showed up. He stayed towards the back at first so that the others could greet him first.

“Yeah and what about it?” Harley replied ignoring Steve’s call out of ‘language’. “Wait, Peter?!?!”

“No. I’m actually a lifesize doll with a rat under my huge cooking hat controlling all m-”

Peter couldn’t finish because he was attacked by a hug from Harley. Regaining the breath that was knocked out of him at first, he realised what was happening and hugged back. Harley smelled like a plane, but also like soap and grass which Peter thought was nice.

Pulling back, he was finally close enough to see that Harley looked just like the photos he sent although, he was definitely cuter in person. He was dressed in a white t-shirt tucked into puffy, cuffed jean shorts. His hair was messily sprawled on his head and he was smiling like an idiot. So basically Peter was fucked.

Suddenly feeling a little awkward, Peter realised how close they still were and stepped back a little.

“I-uh set up the karaoke machine for you guys over there. I hope that’s ok. Mr.Stark said he had to do something really fast and has been upstairs for a couple hours. I’m sure FRIDAY told him you were here so he’ll probably be down soon.”

“Boss is on his way down to you now Peter,” FRIDAY announced.

“Oh, thanks FRI!”

As if on cue, Tony walked out of the elevator right then and slapped Harley on the back right where Cap did, making hip yelp. Peter giggled and Harley sent a glare his way, but there was a hint of blush on his face.

“Took you long enough kid.”

“Blame it on your slow ass jet Stark. Happy was clearly enjoying my company on the ride though. I could see it in his eyes.”

Suddenly remembering there were other people in the room, Peter saw that Happy was with May on the couch while the other four were fighting over something in the kitchen. They were talking of something about Clint and Steve owing the others $20 bucks for an ‘awkward first interaction’ or something like that.

Harley and Tony were starting to bicker about something and Peter did not want to deal with how long that could possibly go on for. 

Pushing them forwards he said, “I did not set up this karaoke machine for nothing. You will perform for me or I will leave, I swear. I’m gonna call everyone else down and tell Ned and MJ to come over so nobody will miss this. Choose a song in the meantime you idiots.”

Yeah. This would be a fun birthday.

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
[Attached Video: a shaking screen stills to focus on Harley and Tony holding microphones in front of a TV screen. Harley is smiling wickedly while Tony looks dead inside. The music Connected from “Barbie & the Diamond Castle” starts and Harley starts to sing Liana’s part and Tony joins in with Alexa’s. They go through the whole song with Harley literally jamming and knowing all the words while Tony is staring at the lyrics on the TV. On the last notes of the song Harley tries to get them to hold hands, but Tony slaps the hand away, throws down the microphone and stomps over to sit on the couch with his arms crossed, pouting. Peter and the rest of the Avenger’s laughing can be heard through the whole video. It ends with compliments to Harley and teasing jokes directed to Tony.]

> new in town @h_keener  
best experience of my life

>> you know me @TStark  
you owe me now

> thor is hot @child_of_oden  
ok but why is Harley’s voice so good like huh?? when were you gonna tell us??

> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
just now remembering that the princesses in that movie were totally lesbians and dating each other and that’s definitely a love song soooooooooo i’m very uncomfortable with the energy we created in the studio today

>> new in town @h_keener  
NOOOOOOOOOOOOO I FORGOT

>>> new in town @h_keener  
NO LONGER OUR SONG

>>>> new in town @h_keener  
I’M NOT INTO INCEST

>>>>> you know me @TStark  
We’re not?? Related??

>>>>>> new in town @h_keener  
ok bitch well I’m also not into pedophelia

>>>>>>> you know me @TStark  
Ok yes point don’t take that video out of context please people we are simply country boy and city man with platonic bond

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
I LVOE YAOU ALL

> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
thank you :))))

>> new in town @h_keener  
for all those wondering peter just opened his presents and got different avengers pajamas from every avenger 

>>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
IT WASNT EVEN PLANEED I LVOE THEM

you know me @TStark  
[Image of Peter and Harley asleep on opposite sides of the couch with their legs on top of each other. Ned and MJ are asleep on the floor covered in pillows. Peter is in the Iron Man pajamas, Harley is in the Spider-Man ones, Ned is in the Captain America ones, and MJ is in the Black Widow ones. Peter is holding a duck Webkinz that he got as a present from Harley.]


	12. cowabunga ma dudes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is a quick one for now :) i'm not sure how long i'm making this fic so expect more chapters in the future!!
> 
> i hope everyone is staying safe out there <3

so hunny @sallysberrysteak  
pov: you’re an innocent person walkin down the street and spider-man swings by you and screams ‘cowabunga’

> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
…

>> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
no comment

> new in town @h_keener  
how i wish i was you

>> new in town @h_keener  
spider-man’s could stab me and i’d thank him

>>> fear me @queenMJ  
lmao who’s gonna tell him

@ned_leeds >>>>>>>> @yeeterpeter

@ned_leeds : …

@ned_leeds : dude

@yeeterpeter : …

@yeeterpeter : yes?

@ned_leeds : are you gonna tell him?

@yeeterpeter : tell who what

@ned_leeds : you are an idiot

@yeeterpeter : i know but heyyyyy

@ned_leeds : tell harley that you’re You Know Who???

@yeeterpeter : HOLY SHIT

@yeeterpeter : I’M VOLDEMORT!??!?!??!?!??!???

@yeeterpeter : NED

@yeeterpeter : I DONT WANNA KILL ANYONE

@yeeterpeter : TELL MAY I LOVED HER

@yeeterpeter : I MUST GO INTO HIDING

@ned_leeds : i hate you

@yeeterpeter : hehe no you don’t

@ned_leeds : no i dont

@ned_leeds : but are you gonna?

@yeeterpeter : i mean we havent known each other for that long

@yeeterpeter : but tony trusts him

@yeeterpeter : and he did move all the way to new york just to be around us

@yeeterpeter : so i will i guess

@yeeterpeter : maybe not right now tho

@yeeterpeter : but soon

@ned_leeds : that’s cool dude it's your identity

@ned_leeds : also i love to see unknowingly him thirst over you

@yeeterpeter : HUDHGKJasihuihduakjbdoiahdDUFjs

@yeeterpeter : shut up

I am ze bird brain @Hawkeye  
anyone gonna tell me why i just saw idiot #2 filming himself doing the macarena

> Captain Crunch @SteveRodgers  
Who?

> new in town @h_keener  
IT WAS CAUSE TONY MADE ME DO SOMETHING EMBARRASSING CAUSE I MADE HIM SING THAT DUET WITH ME

>> I am ze bird brain @Hawkeye  
Tony is OG idiot while Harley is idiot #2 and Peter is idiot #3

>>> I am ze bird brain @Hawkeye  
obviously

>> new in town @h_keener  
i had to do it in x3 speed and i think i did a pretty good job thank you very much

>>> fear me @queenMJ  
[Video of Harley trying to do the macarena at x3 speed and literally falling on his ass somehow]

>>>> new in town @h_keener  
HOW DID YOU GET THAT

>>>>> fear me @queenMJ  
i asked FRIDAY to send me videos of every stupid thing that happens in the tower and she agreed

>>>>>> fear me @queenMJ  
i have so much blackmail material on all of you

>>>>>>> you know me @TStark  
@FRIDAY why would you do that? Did she hack you?

>>>>>>>> The Best AI @FRIDAY  
No, I just trust her more than you.

>>>>>>>>> The Best AI @FRIDAY  
I do the same for Pepper, Boss.

>>>>>>>>>> you know me @TStark  
betrayed by my AI, wife, and intern’s scary friend

>>>>>>>>>>> I’m trying @scarletwitchy  
so we’re all just gonna ignore the fact that Harley fell on his ass?

>>>>>>>>>>>> new in town @h_keener  
i was hoping y’all forgot


	13. what's new pussycat (woah oh oh oh oh)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> i'm trying to keep this in time with the actual dates, but i just realized that after i post them you wont be able to see when it was posted so this one takes place on 10/25/20 which is right before halloween :)

you know me @TStark  
I regret everything

gale_sings @gale1238  
???

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
hehe

new in town @h_keener  
hehe

BBGUN @BuckyBarnanimal  
oh no

you know me @TStark  
I used to like him, but John Mulaney is now dead to me. This is his fault

if she breathes she’s a thot @shuri  
lmaooooooo what did you doooooo @yeeterpeter @h_keener

new in town @h_keener  
definitely not play what’s new pussycat 21 times with 1 it’s not unusual in the middle

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
yeah that’d be mean…

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
[video of tony sitting on the couch relief on his face as it’s not unusual starts to play after listening to 11 what’s new pussycats. Then, it’s not unusual ends and another what’s new pussycat begins and he starts screaming]

you know me @TStark  
Why me cruel world. Why me

new in town @h_keener  
ok i’ve been in new york for like 2 months ish and all i’ve done is wreak havoc and explode a science lab at school

stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
wait you??? exploded a science lab???

new in town @h_keener  
it was a really good first impression

stark stark stark @thefandomlife  
YOU EXPLODED IT ON THE FIRST DAY?!?!?!?

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
he fits right in

neddy @ned_leeds  
blowing up a lab is like initiation into our school

fear me @queenMJ  
save me

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
hehe

new in town @h_keener  
hehe

neddy @ned_leeds  
i’m getting deja vu

so hunny @sallysberrysteak  
what’s happening???

fear me @queenMJ  
nerd squad forced me to go to spirit halloween and i have to suffer through them going through the minecraft section

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
leave me alone i just wanna be a sheep >:(

new in town @h_keener  
and I wanna be a cow >:(

neddy @ned_leeds  
and I wanna be a chicken >:(

fear me @queenMJ  
and i wanna go home and never leave again

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
you know you wanna be a wolf

fear me @queenMJ  
…

fear me @queenMJ  
shut up and buy me the stupid costume

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a little short i just wanted to bang out a small one before the halloween one i have ready :)
> 
> thank you all for your support it's really amazing i had no idea this fic would get where it is now off of my crackheaded thoughts
> 
> i hope you enjoyed <3


	14. halloweenies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW: underage drinking + a party with alcohol
> 
> PLEASE BE WARY IF EITHER OF THESE AFFECT YOU
> 
> i hope everyone had (or is still having) a safe and fun halloween!! my friends and i did despicable me characters and i went as vector it was very snazzy i even had a minion mask
> 
> also this is formatted kinda weirdly i couldnt fix it sorry lmao

friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
happy spooky season to all >:)

> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
reminder that just because it is halloween does not give anyone an excuse to dress up as an oppressed culture, mental illness, or anything else that could be extremely insensitive

>> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
please please please be respectful tonight!! we’re all just trying to have a good time!! 

>>> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
some friendly ideas: mustard bottle, a sorcerer, a cat, a phineas and ferb character, a superhero (i personally have gone as iron man...several times), and many more!!

>>>> friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
love you all muah

you know me @TStark  
rt

Pepper @PepperPotts  
rt

tony stank is an idiot @Rhodes  
rt

The Best AI @FRIDAY  
rt

I am ze bird brain @Hawkeye  
rt

bow before me @BlackWidow  
rt

that hulk guy@BruceBanner  
rt

THOR @THOR  
rt

BBGUN @BuckyBarnanimal  
rt

I’m trying @scarletwitchy  
rt

Captain Crunch @SteveRodgers  
rt

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
[picture of MJ, Ned, Peter, and Harley in their respective minecraft costumes from Party City. A disgruntled wolf MJ is being bocked at by a chicken Ned. A sheep Peter and cow Harley are laughing at the scene in front of them, trying not to die under MJ’s death stare.]

new in town @h_keener  
yeah we cute what about it

fear me @queenMJ  
delete it

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
lol no

fear me @queenMJ

neddy @ned_leeds  
oh shit

dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
RUN

“Peter I thought you said you were gonna go on patrol tonight.”

“I am but I wanted to have fun with you guys for a little while first. This is like one of my last Halloween’s as a cool teen guy. Next year i’ll be like an old guy who’s still technically a teen but significantly less cool.”

“Dude we’re gonna be cool for the rest of our lives don’t worry. You could probably sneak out soon i mean Harley looks pretty out of it to notice.”

Ned and Peter watched from the corner while MJ tried to stop a very intoxicated Harley from eating his cup. 

Smothering a laugh, Peter agreed with Ned and decided to tell him goodnight and change into his suit. 

The nerd gang, as MJ had so elegantly named them, had been invited to a party at Abe’s. Peter refused to drink anything, so most of the night he watched as his friends slowly became more and more incoherent. Ned was surprisingly able to hold his beer well, while Harley… well you could say Harley definitely could not.

He snuck around the house until he reached an occupied shed behind the party. Ok, first of all that was a terrible place to change. I mean, peak horror movie going into a shed on Halloween at a party. Secondly, when had so many people showed up? The party looked packed from where he was and at the beginning Abe had said only a few guests. 

Carefully placing his sheep costume on the ground, Peter sighed as he prepared himself for what was to come. Halloween was always a rowdy time for everyone, so many parties and crimes. Something about the end of October made everyone in New York go absolute bat shit.

He quickly pulled one of his arms through the suit when he heard a very slurred-

“Peter?”  
Or that’s what he assumed the person meant to say, but it came out more of a “Pleaanea?”

Very, very slowly, the unmasked teen turned to see a wobbly Harley standing in the doorway, holding it to keep him up.

“H-harley! What are yo- it’s not what it looks like!”

“I twought we were gwoing azz minecraff, whhy are yuu in a swpider-maaan costmume?”

“I-uh-uh this- this is a dream. You’re dreaming.”

“Oh. Ok.”

“What did you come in here for anyway, Dream Harley?”

“I wanndet to gow sledding.”

As much as he was panicking, Peter couldn’t help but laugh at that. And he just kept laughing and laughing until he was on the ground of a shed that wasn’t even his, half in his suit. 

“Waszo funnie?”

“You dumbo. Go back inside.”

“But I wannaaa sday with yuu. I like it with yow.”

Ok, yes Peter did blush at that. Could you blame him?

“The parties inside though dream Harley, I’ll meet you there later. Go find MJ.”

“Ok. Snee yu later babe.”

“Bye Dream Harley.”

Sighing and pulling his mask on, he thought about how adorable drunk Harley was. 

It wasn’t until he was halfway through patrol that he realised what Harley had said. 

Shit. 

SHIT. 

Oh no. 

He was totally a goner for this boy.

new in town @h_keener  
my head hurts

> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
lol

>> new in town @h_keener  
DONT MOCK ME

>>> you know me @TStark  
Don’t think we don’t know about what you guys did last night. We will be merciful and not tell May, but NEVER AGAIN

>>>> new in town @h_keener  
@h_keener is offline

>>>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
@yeeterpeter is offline

>>>>> you know me @TStark  
I KNOW THATS NOT HOW TWITTER WORKS PROBLEM CHILDREN

abe @imsotired  
ok pic dump come get y’alls juice

abe @imsotired  
[Someone in an inflatable t-rex doing the WAP dance]

abe @imsotired  
[Nerd squad throwing up peace signs to the camera]

abe @imsotired  
[Whole acadec team smiling for a group pic]

abe @imsotired  
[Drunk Harley clinging to a blushing Peter]

abe @imsotired  
[Drunk Harley and completely sober Peter performing the entirety of Busted from Phineas and Ferb perfectly with the exact choreography. Peter as Candance and Harley as Vanessa (obviously)]

abe @imsotired  
[MJ shoving a whole handful of cheetos into her face and giving the camera a middle finger]

abe @imsotired  
[Two separate people in spiderman costumes doing the one pointing spiderman meme]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! we're kind of nearing the end of this fic i think :(((
> 
> i've written a lot of the ideas i had initially and i'm getting close to writing the bigger chapters and it's been almost a whole year!!
> 
> i'm so glad that everyone's been enjoying everything and i'm so thankful for all of the love i've gotten
> 
> i'm thinking that if i do end this series (which still won't be for a couple of months anyway) whenever i get an idea for a small little add on i'll add an epilogue chapter, but this isnt set in stone yet
> 
> anyways, we still have a little while to go so i hope you stick around if you would like!!


	15. lit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> peter's an idiot and tony and peter talk about shtuff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> holy shit it's almost been an entire year since i started this?!?!?!?!?!? gosh if i knew so many people would read this story i would have put more effort into the beginning chapters lmao, but i hope it's improved over the past year. i'll probably be posting another chapter in honor the year soon but i wanted to say thank you all sosoosososos much for supporting me and giving comments and kudos!! it always means so much to me no matter how little and i probably wouldn't have made it this far in the fic without y'all <33333

dancing queen @yeeterpeter   
guys i seriously can’t wait for the new year!! it’s gonna be so tit!!

> neddy @ned_leeds  
uh

> abe @imsotired   
uh

> new in town @h_keener  
uh

> fear me @queenMJ  
hey peter?

>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
yes MJ?

>>> fear me @queenMJ  
why don’t you do me a favor and reread that tweet

>>>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
huh? why?

>>>>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
HOLY SHIT

>>>>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
I’M SO SORRY

>>>>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
I MEANT TO SAY LIT

>>>>> dancing queen @yeeterpeter  
PLEASE FORGIVE ME

>>>>>> fear me @queenMJ  
idiot it’s fine

>>>>>>> new in town @h_keener  
the real injustice is you still saying lit

“Hey Harley?”

“Yeah Peter?”

“Can you go get my phone from the lab. I think I left it there earlier and I don’t feel like getting up.”

“Lol no.”

“Arggghhhhhh why are you so mean to me.”

“Sorry bro not my fault you’re an idiot that forgets their stuff everywhere.”

“That’s it I’m sending you back to Nevada.”

“I’m from Tennessee.”

“Same thing.”

Grumbling under his breath, Peter reluctantly got up from the couch they were settled together on. After flicking Harley’s head and ignoring the cry of pain, he made his way down in the elevator. 

The lab doors opened to reveal Tony spinning on his lab chair, yelling at guilty looking Dum-E. Peter called out a hello to the billionaire and after hearing a grunt in return he went to grab his phone from the back of the lab. Rounding back, he saw Dum-E shoving a screwdriver into Tony’s face as the latter tried to ignore the robot. 

“C’mon Mr.Stark you can’t be mad at him forever, I mean look at that face.”

The robot chirped and poked man with the screwdriver once more. Tony lifted his head and deadpanned straight into the robot's eyes (eyes?). The staring contest was quickly over as Tony gave into him, as per usual. Grabbing the tool roughly, he mumbled a sorry and moved his eyes back to his work. 

Taking that at his cue to leave, Peter turned back and started to step towards the doors until--

“Hey kid wait a minute.”

Oops

Turning back around he called out, “what’s up Mr.Stark?”

He pulled his goggles away from his eyes and let them fall around his neck. Leaning back on his chair to look at Peter, he said, “I’ve been talking with Harley and he mentioned something funny about this weird dream he had on Halloween.”

Oh.

Shit.

ShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShitShit

“Erm..oh really? What possibly could he have had a dream of hahahahee.”

Wow. Great job Peter. Really good.

“Oh you know, just that he may or may not have seen someone in a Spiderman suit? In a shed? Now I don’t wanna jump to any conclusions or anything but would you happen to know anything about this?”

“Huh? I-uh why would I know anything? That’s-that’s one crazy dream of his hahaha.”

“Peter”

“Mr.Stark”

“Peter”

“Ok, yes fine fine yes he did happen to stumble in on me in the suit. But! He was super drunk so he doesn’t know anything!”

“Yeah kid don’t remind me, you are both still grounded because of that,” he sighed and paused to clear his throat. “I know Harley thinks it was a dream, but that’s a close call Pete. I’m not going to say you should tell him or you shouldn’t tell him, but I think you should think about it at least. I know, I know you don’t want anyone to get hurt because of you, but you don’t want him to find out in a bad way do you?”

Peter shuffled his feet awkwardly and sighed. He knew. He knew that Harley would probably discover his secret sooner or later, for better or worse. He wanted it to be on his own terms, not some terrible accident or anything.

“Yeah, yeah I’ll think about it. Thanks Mr. Stark and uh, sorry about the whole er drinking thing.”

“Yeah, yeah sure kid whatever,” he waved him off and turned back to his desk, already focused on work again.

friendly neighborhood spider @spinsterman  
happy holiday’s everyone!!!!!!!! hope everyone celebrating anything has a safe and happy time :)


End file.
